Little Children Are Disgusting

The other day, I was playing with Clarissa and she suddenly stopped and let out an almighty wet fart. It was so loud, I'm not sure who was more surprised, her or I. I couldn't believe such a loud noise could come from such a tiny child! After the surprise passed, she just giggled and then carried on.

After this, I started to notice little things that she was doing which make my stomach turn:

She blows bubbles in her dribble and then tries to wipe it on your clothes and your face. I narrowly avoided having her blow spit in my face.

Yesterday Giorgio gave her a mugfull of dog biscuits to give to Bronson, and as she walked to the door I watched her take a handful and eat them.

We were playing in her room once, and she tipped out her box of necklaces and bracelets to show what she had. The the bottom of the box was full of dust and gritty bits, as well as a grimy yellow saltdough heart that she had obviously made previously with a different Au pair. As I was admiring her collection, I watched her pick up the saltdough heart, take a bite and eat it:
"I like it."

She has a taste for salty things, and when she makes 'potions' she often adds salt to them. And then she'll lick the salt straight off her fingers, and use her wet fingers to pick up fallen salt on the floor.

And by far the worst, is the problem with picking the big slimy green boogers that wave from her nose.

The other day we were in the car, and in the corner of my eye I watched her pick her nose, inspect it and then wipe it on the window of the car. And then do it again, only this time to wipe it on Giorgio's saxophone case sitting between us.

I see her pick her nose and then she'll reach out to hold my hand. I can only snatch it above my head like, woaaaaah nelly I saw what you were just doing with those fingers!

Clarissa went on a school trip and came back with a full blown bow and arrow (which was bigger than her...). We'd not been playing with it long when the small plastic part used to clip the arrow to the string fell off. I suggested to Clari that we glue it now, let it dry overnight and we can carry on playing tomorrow. She agreed, and I then watched her put the plastic piece up her nose, lick it, look at it and try handing it to me:
"You take."

Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure children can be wonderful: cute, sweet, cheeky.
But you can't deny that they are just disgusting.