Bit Of A Rant

I had a bit of a re-read over my last few posts and I noticed that they seem to be getting a little moany. I've just been having a bad week or two recently, I guess.

Okay, not a bad week really.

Although, the week when Clarissa had chicken pox was practically unbearable. She didn't go to school so she was at home all day every day - and that meant I practically had to work all day every day. And to top it off, it was cold and rainy every day of the week except Easter sunday, so for 7 days straight I did not leave the house. I didn't even step outside until sunday afternoon, and that was only onto the porch to wave goodbye to Giorgio's sister. I think that may have been one of the reasons I was feeling so poo.

Cooped up, tired of babysitting 24/7 and lacking fresh air and vitamin D. Ahaha who would have thought springtime Italy would be so abundant with rain?

I've been thinking, and I think I've put my finger on the problem. The trouble is, a lot of the time when Clarissa and I play together it's fine, and I do actually enjoy it. I mean, we make things, we go outside etc etc. But there are the times, or the 'episodes' where she is so frustratingly impossible to deal with and she winds me up a treat. It's these episodes that I dread and I fear it may be putting me off from going out of my way to spend time with her without being told to because I dread her going off on one.

It's got to the point where the other day I'm in my room and I hear Dominga and her get home from school downstairs. I know I should go down and be with her, but I just think to myself; give it five more minutes, that's five minutes less you'll have to be with her.

That sounds quite bad doesn't it. You're probably thinking why am I in this job if I can't stand to spend time with the child I'm supposed to be babysitting. It's not that I don't like Clarissa, most days I do. It's just there are quite a lot of days where she drives me potty and I just can't stand her.

Does that make me a bad person? I don't dislike children, they're cool and all that. I'm just not sure if I like never being able to get away from one. And maybe it's just Clarissa. Maybe it's because she's an only child, so she get's away with more than she should, and she's quite spoilt (I've never seen someone get so many toys when it's not their birthday!!). Or maybe it's just because she's Italian, and Italian parents bring up their children differently, and she's been influenced by Giorgio that I'm English and I'm different, in not necessarily a positive way.

Either way, the weather seems to be picking up now and even a sunny day full of gremlin-sitting can be a good day.